Many years ago, I had a boss who shared some advice with me that became a North Star as I grew deeper into my career.

I’ll start by saying I’m a person of faith and ask if you’re not to stick with me even though this blog may not be your cup of tea or your typical read. I ask because this blog is about work-life balance and spirituality and how those things entwine to create a life of fulfillment. 

Those who know me also know family and work to be extremely important to me. My family has greatly sacrificed over my thirty-four-year career due to extensive global travel. During the COVID lockdowns, while sitting on the beach, my wife and I discussed the year we had spent together. We realized it was the most extended period we had spent together over our entire marriage of twenty-eight years.

We realized that we had had an estimated seven one-month periods where we had spent four weeks or more time together over our entire marriage. Life had been a week here and a week there between flights.

Beyond that, it was weekends and days. My wife shared one day, “You know, a whole year together, and we still really like each other.” I said, “Imagine my relief.” We both laughed. Our marriage is one of the few things I executed correctly the first time.

Over the years, balancing family and work was often difficult. My family made incredible sacrifices while I chased my career, especially early on.

At this point, you’re probably wondering where all this is going. This isn’t about balance, and this is where I’ll come back to my boss’s advice.

Faith, family, and work make up 90% of what most people spend life on. And based on this fact, these essential things make up life and drive our purpose.

Think about life and these essential factors like a three-legged table and how each must be aligned to support what’s on the table. Also, note that they must work together. If one leg is not aligned, the table is most likely nonfunctioning and does not perform its duties properly. Each pillar or leg relies on the others to keep everything balanced. They work together to support each other and to maximize their purpose.

I remember his words, “You will have good and bad days in your faith, family, and work. If you only have one, or maybe two, a good day will be a great day, but a bad day will be terrible.” If you have spent most of your career in sales, as I have, you know what an emotional rollercoaster ride this career choice can create daily. Good days can be the highest of highs, and bad days can have you not wanting to get out of bed the next morning.

I’m sharing my thoughts and what works for me to provoke thought. This is not intended to be a speech telling anyone how to live life. I believe fulfillment comes in a well-rounded life. Having each of these life pillars for support helps to smooth out the rough spots, jagged edges, and the wild swings life can throw at us. Life is a marathon, not a sprint; all be it as I grow older, I do have days where I feel I am running out of time, being a Type-A, Goal Driven person. 

As a person of faith, I have days when I’m angry or upset in my faith and days when I’m in the most peaceful place a mind can be. I’m a person of faith not because it makes me perfect but because I’m imperfect. I have great days in my family when all is right with the world, and then there are days when I want to be alone. Work can be highly gratifying, and then drop you off at the bus station of uncertainty and doubt.

I’m sure if you think about these points, you can remember periods when you struggled with one or more of the pillars I mentioned. If you are like me, you are your own worst critic. 

A few years ago, I told a boss, “There is nothing you will ever do that will apply more pressure than the pressure I apply myself.” Everything is personal with me across these pillars: my faith and how I try to live my life. INSERT JOKE HERE:(NOTE: I know there are detractors out there who know me personally, and I ask for a bit of leeway here.) 

My family and the responsibilities I feel to provide and care for each of them while battling the feelings of letting them down. Finally, work. No one stays in an industry for thirty years if they don’t love it, but I’ve had days that almost did me in. I remember the day I watched a $125M business become a $12.0M business in 9 hours. I remember going to dinner with my sales VPs that night, and almost no one spoke. We were stunned after watching a brand we had spent years building disappear in one day. 

Based on some of my recent posts, you also realize I’m just a bit competitive. My never-give-up nature and my will to win are sometimes daunting. I remember reading a Will Smith comment about his competitive nature a few years ago. He stated, “If we both get on a treadmill, you are getting off first. You are getting off first, or I’m getting off dead.” I resemble that remark. 

Put all these details together, and you have The Jerry Maguire Mission Statement from a guy who overthinks just about everything, but I have tried to live a life never forgetting where I came from or the people that made me.

I’m coming to a close, so stick with me for one or two more paragraphs.

So what’s the point here? Remember, this is not meant to be a speech to anyone on living life. I aim to float some thought-provoking ideas that work for me most days.

For me, each of these pillars brings something to my life that helps support the other. 

My faith brings the guiding principles that help to set the boundaries for my ethics and the example I attempt to establish in the type of person I want to be known as in this life, the mark I try to leave on the world. My faith helps me guide my family, children, and grandchildren. It guides my purpose in my relationships at work and how I attempt to perform my duties daily. When I have a bad day at work or with my family, my faith is constant and always there, and sometimes nothing more than a place to vent the day’s troubles away. It guides my purpose and view of the endgame and the legacy of my life I want to leave.

My family is my biggest blessing. They guide my purpose at work, and they are my steadfast support. My wife is my constant confidant and advisor when I have a bad day at work. Sometimes, she’s that listening ear while I vent the day’s troubles; sometimes, she’s the tough love when I need a good kick. She’s been known to push me to seek higher guidance.

Work gives me goals and challenges that fill my competitive nature. Work challenges me to solve problems, give my best, and share information to help others grow. Work supports my family while also adding to my purpose. Work often establishes my accomplishment goals. Work has brought me culture, friendships on almost every continent, and exposure to the world I never thought possible as a young man. It’s built and developed in me an epic respect and appreciation of the global human condition.

I must admit this has been a complex topic to articulate, and while the words often come faster than I can type, this article came with difficulties and questions. Is it too personal? Is it appropriate for LinkedIn? Does this paint me in a light of weakness? Does it come off as condescending, as if I’m lecturing? Does it make me sound like an emotional?

Is it a Jerry Maguire moment? Who knows, but I guess I’m willing to take the risk.

We just came off a weekend here in the US where we celebrate all that we have to be thankful for. I was blessed to spend Thanksgiving Day volunteering with a community group of friends, serving a Thanksgiving Dinner to anyone in our community who didn’t have a place to spend the day or was simply in need of a hot Thanksgiving Dinner. It was a day of hard work but a day to bring the perspective of the balance I speak of and try to live in my daily balancing act. I don’t mention this for attention; I say this as an example of how I try to execute this haphazard plan I’ve detailed for you and one way I attempt to recharge my purpose and reset my balance. 

I don’t know what questions this article might raise, but I do know that many struggle to find purpose and meaning in a world that teaches never to show weakness in emotion or personal feelings—they struggle to find a place to fit in and be accepted. A corporate world that teaches stepping on anyone’s neck at work to get to that next rung on the ladder. Worry about number one first and foremost. Do whatever it takes to get ahead. “Remember, never let them see you sweat, kid!”

In summary, I hope this article has given you pause to step back and think about what guides you. I hope it challenges you to find balance and meaning in life while helping you establish your priority hierarchy based on what you deem most important. 

The purpose of this article is not to downplay work or put it on an island. This article aims to challenge thinking in a way that hopefully helps you find objectiveness to help determine how to make it all work together for the common good in life, health, and happiness because I believe if you find this, you have your foundation to be an overperformer at work that can be sustainable for the long term.

During this holiday season, I challenge you to find some quiet time to think. Think about priorities and how to find balance, peace, and happiness in a life that can be filled with purpose, meaning, and legacy.

Happy Holidays, all. I wish you a successful finish this year and an incredible start to 2024.

S. Darrin Johnston is a C Suite Management Executive in the housewares industry.